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Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Failure

My alcohol induced weekend was a lot of fun.  Except it kept me from my post yesterday.  Which means I am a NaBloPoMo failure.  Oh well.  I will continue to do my best the rest of the month and see what happens.  Anyone want a recap of my crazy weekend?  I do…ha ha!

Started out on Friday with a LONG day at work.  I guess no one got the memo that we should secure early on Fridays.  I didn’t get out of there until almost 6.  A friend was in town for the weekend, so once I get home and showered, I met up with four friends and we went downtown Carlsbad for the night.  LOTS of beer later, I stumbled into my apartment and proceeded to fall fast asleep.  But for some reason I watched Fridays episode of Days of Our Lives first.  I totally love that show and am addicted.  Any one else?  It is getting REALLY good now too.  Okay, tangent over.

Saturday, I slept in and then decided to go shopping.  Seriously, I was looking for something specific which means I bought NOTHING.  I believe it is a scientific fact that when you aren’t looking for anything, you find EVERYTHING to buy and when you want something specific, you find nothing.  Then I watched “The Proposal”.  That is one funny movie!  I really enjoyed it and recommend it.  Then, met up with some of the same friends from Friday night and we made our way to San Diego for the night.

Have you ever been the only girl out with three guys?  Hysterical.  Tons more beer was consumed and we played the LBD game.  Haven’t heard of it before?  Well, that is probably because I came up with it on the way to San Diego.  Basically, we counted the number of girls wearing “little black dresses” that we saw throughout the night.  I think the final count on the way out-of-town was 94.  Watching the guys scream “74!” while point to a girl across the street was a blast.  I took a “nap” on my friends couch and finally drove to my apartment around 5 this morning.  Needless to say, I slept in again today.

After some cleaning and some more movie watching (“The Ugly Truth” was really cute) I decided it was time to purge all of the weekends festivities from my system with a run.  I had a six-mile run on my training plan scheduled for today and that is what I did.  Just and out and back and I felt really good.  I was slower than my long run last week, but I ran the whole time and felt good.  My knee is pretty sore and I have already iced it once.  Will probably do that again later tonight.

Now I am off to meet up with friends for pizza and some Rock Band.  Yes.  And no beer.  At all.  Are you bored with my weekends ramblings?  If you are still reading this, bless your heart.  I would have been bored after Friday.  🙂

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I guess the title of this post is a bit misleading.  I don’t regret.  Anything.  I never have.  It is my philosophy that every decision I have ever made has brought me to the place I am today.  I like where I am today so I can’t regret things that brought me here.  Regret is a wasted emotion.  You can’t do anything about the past.  All you can do is learn and move on.  Therefore, I don’t do regret.

I do have a tendency to every once in a while fall into the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” trap.  Sort of like that song… “what might have been”.  While I don’t regret my decisions, I do sometimes wonder how things might have been different had I chosen a different path.  This is a natural thought process though.  Could I have left that situation?  Would I have been happier with him?  Should I have looked at all of these things before deciding the way I did?  Yes.  No.  Maybe.  I have these thoughts a lot more when I am feeling nostalgic about good times from the past.  And I was definitely feeling that way last night.

I couldn’t sleep.  My mind kept spinning.  I had opened up “the box”.  I have an old cigar box filled with letters and pictures and memories from my relationship with one person.  I have had a lot of relationships, but only this one has a box.  I have it stuck in the corner of my closet.  I will forget it is there.  But every once in a while, I start thinking about him.  I pull out the box and sit on the floor of my closet and read the letters.  I look at the pictures.  And I am reminded of the amazing times we had together.  I don’t think about the tears he made me shed.  I don’t think about the uncertainty he brought into my life.  I just remember how he made me happy.  After I am done looking through the box, I close it up.  I put it back in the corner and I go on with my day.

He is married now.  I haven’t talked to him in years.  I wonder if he is happy.  I hope that he is.  I wonder how things would be different now if I had said yes to his proposal.  But I don’t regret any of it.

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So Sad

I am so sad about what is going at Fort Hood right now.  I feel for the families of the soldiers affected by this.  I am in complete and utter disbelieve that it was another soldier that was responsible for the tragedy.  I have no words.

Please keep the families and friends of those killed and injured in your prayers.  And keep all of the soldiers at Fort Hood in your prayers also.  Military bases are communities and something like this can really rock a community.  You think you are safe when you are on base.  I speak from experience.  To have that comprimised…I can’t even imagine.

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